I just retired a few months ago from working with the City’s sanitation department. My job was at the waste water treatment plant. And I was a certified class IV hockeylogist. Most of you never heard of a job called hockeyology and you probably don’t personally know any hockeyologist. But your neighbor or friend might be a hockeyologist and I’m going to tell you how to recognize one.
If your friend collects miniature commodes and outhouses he may be a hockeyolgist.
If you cut the cheese and your friend says that smell like bread and butter to me he may be a hockeylogist
If you see a guy look at a pile of poop and says that looks like it could be about 45 % concentration he may be a hockologist
If you drive by a treatment plant and your friend with you says that smells like money to me, he may be a hockologist
If you see a Sanitation Department truck dumping smelly dirt in the yard next door, your neighbor may be a hockeylogist.
If your neighbor’s yard smells like rotten eggs he might be a hockeyologist
If your friend’s vacation slide shows include pictures of a waste water treatment plant he might be a hockeyologist.
If your friend riding with you can point out all the waste water pump stations in town he may be hockologist
If you got a friend that can eat a sandwich while sitting on the john he may be a hockologist.
If your friend sits and talks about the process of treating poop in a crowded restaurant he may be a hockologist.
If your neighbor’s wife tells you that her husband works for the “water company, but he drives a sanitation department truck he may be a hockeyologist.
If your neighbor can distinguish that the odor you smell in your neighborhood is either poop or a paper plant process he may be a hockologist.
If your neighbor is recognized by the city as a hero for pulling someone out of a tank of poop he may be a hockologist
If you see your neighbor at the mall in his uniform and work shoes on Saturday night, he may be a hockeyologist.
If your neighbor’s wife washes her husband’s clothes at the launder mat he may be a hockologist.
If your neighbor can describe the taste of poop being salty he may be a hockologist.
If your neighbor has a saying “You flush-em and we’ll crush em he may be a hockologist.
If your neighbor quotes “Your No.2 business is our No.1 business he may be a hockologist.
If your neighbor changes clothes and shoes on the back porch when he comes home in the afternoon, he may be a hockeyologist.
If your neighbor refuses to discuss his job with the city with you in detail he may be a hockologist.
If your neighbor says that he is immune to stomach virus he may be a hockologist.
If your neighbor’s family car smells like someone cut the cheese all the time he may be a hockologist.
So if you recognize someone as a hockeyologist give them a big hug because they are making your city a better place to live.
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